Stains

Stains photo: jparadisi 2012

It’s a rare night that I can’t sleep. I’m trying to remove, without waking David, yellow vegetable dye stains of crumbled bits of a bunny-shaped chocolate truffle I ate yesterday, from my favorite pair of white jeans. Undergoing their third washing, they appear permanently stained. Perhaps it’s time to pronounce them, but I’m not ready to let go yet. Why is it easier to remove bloodstains from clothing than yellow Easter candy dye? Sigh.

Not a single car or pedestrian moves along the street outside. If not for David’s rhythmic breathing I might consider I was left behind after the post-apocalyptic rapture.  I’m too much of an optimist to convince myself of this, however. I remember hearing of a boy, home alone, who locked himself in a closet, fearing the rapture occurred and he’d been left behind. His parents found him crying in the closet when they came home.

The yellow dye clings to the white denim like sin; evidence of enjoying a chocolate treat (gluttony), or simple sloppiness (sloth)? I only care because I really like these jeans.

How simple is my life, that a pair of stained jeans is the topic of a post?

I wonder if any of my patients are also sleepless tonight, wrestling with pain, fear or nausea? Are they afraid of being left behind, or more afraid of what they leave behind? This thought makes me sad. I’d rather think about removing yellow candy stains from my white jeans.

Is that a sin?

New Creativity Blog Post Up at TheONC

This week’s blog for TheONC is The Art of Subtraction: More Thoughts on Clutter. The topic is based on my experience of watching a professional sculptor make a likeness of a model’s face, by removing clay, not adding. The experience opened up my eyes to a new way of living a creative life.

I am the guest at the baby shower who always wins that game where you shove a bunch of bubble gum in your mouth, chewing and chewing until you get a big, pink glob, which you are required to mold into the shape of a baby. The best sculptor wins. Here’s my secret for winning: put a tiny butt crack in the back of the bubble gum baby; it is irresistible to the woman judging it.

Clutter Be Gone! Mental Clutter Off Switch at TheONC & AJN Releases iPad App Tomorrow

Shutting down the mental clutter of work after your shift is over is the topic of my post for TheONC this week. Included are Ideas for creating a “mental clutter shut-off switch,” and readers are responding with their own methods too. You can follow TheONC on Twitter @The_ONC and Facebook.

Going digital cuts down on physical clutter, and I am excited the American Journal of Nursing releases its iPad app tomorrow on iTunes. Tomorrow only, April 28, the app is free!

Shift Observations: The End of The Dinosaur

photo: jparadisi 2012

With the care of an archeologist sifting for fossils, I hold his right arm for a second time, turning it to and fro, sliding my fingers up and down searching for a vein suitable to accommodate an IV catheter.  I’ve already looked once, and now return after a fruitless search of his left arm. Decades of chronic illness, medications, and simply old age have done their work, leaving my patient with a spindly network of fragile veins shifting loosely under his skin.

“Everyone should be born with a spigot,” I think silently to myself. “Why doesn’t this patient have a port?” I know the answer without consulting his physician: he is very old, and his illness will likely overcome him. The IV infusion I will eventually administer will not save his life, only limp him along a bit longer.

Outside, cold grey clouds shower a mix of horizontal rain and snow beyond the window of the infusion clinic. An unseasonal storm threatens what promised to be an early spring.

With a slight shiver, my patient asks if I believe in a climate change so powerful it could wipe out life on Earth. Before answering, I take in the wrinkled, reptilian-like skin of his forearm, which I continue to study. Without looking up, I respond to his question, “You mean, like the Ice Age that killed the dinosaurs?” He nods.

Magically, I feel a small, but plump vein. The IV goes in slick as oil on the first stick. I can’t believe our luck. “Yeah, I believe in climate change, but this storm will not be our extinction.”

Commitment Makes You an Artist (or Nurse)

If you aren’t reading the blogs at TheONC, you should. I’ve incorporated much new information from my blogger colleagues into my nursing practice. If you haven’t created a login and joined this lively online community, today is a great day to do so!

pencil on paper by jparadisi

Commitment Makes You an Artist (or Nurse) is my contribution this week’s discussion. Creativity, like nursing, requires time and practice. In this article I offer some practical advice to get you started.

While I’m on the topic of commitment, today is Certified Nurses Day. I hold OCN certification as an oncology nurse. In the past, I was pediatric CCRN certified. Specialty certification is a powerful way for nurses to commit to their practice. Congratulations to nurses who have taken this extra step in professional development and providing excellence in patient care!

Never Stop Developing Your Curiosity: New Post This Week for TheONC

This week, I’ve written a new post for TheONC titled, Never Stop Developing Your Curiosity.  I discuss the role curiosity plays, not only in creativity, but also in patient care, such as helping a patient deal with chemo induced alopecia.

TheONC is an online community for cancer care teams with blogs and discussions covering a variety of oncology topics. Recent posts discuss palliative pain control, stem cell transplant, cancer risk after solid organ transplant, music therapy, and more. Individuals involved in the care of cancer patients can register for a site login, and join the conversation. Follow on Twitter @The_ONC.

Solar Flares

Sun flare photo by jparadisiI am a nurse. I believe full moons have influence over hospitals.  I also believe in the electromagnetic power of solar flares. Last week, hospital staffs in the Northern hemisphere had the joy of exposure to both. While I can’t speak for healthcare providers as a whole, I experienced a few incidents last week, which I attribute to solar flares.

First, I noticed communication glitches in communication David and I. Since communication is a core strength of our marriage, it was weird. Standing in the same room, conversations went something like this:

Me: “Hmm. We’re out of butter, let’s put it on the grocery list.”

David: Silent.

Me: “David, did you hear me say we’re out of butter?”

More silence. Half an hour later…

David: “We’re out of butter.”

Me: “I know, didn’t you hear me say that half an hour ago?”

David: “What? Oh, you better put butter on the grocery list.”

Me: “Can you hear me when I’m speaking to you?”

David: “Are you saying we don’t need butter?”

At the infusion clinic, a nurse complained people were not receiving her messages.  Another nurse looked up and said “Solar flares.” The first nurse said, “Weird, you are the second person to say ‘solar flares’ to me today. Solar flares?”

“Yep. There’s a solar storm headed towards Earth this week. It’s all over the news.”

“Really, I hadn’t heard.”

That was Thursday.

On Friday, we lost login ability to the electronic health record, once logged out, therefore access to patients’ charts.  All the records were secure and intact, we simply couldn’t access them for a short, but inconvenient time. Our fabulous IT team fixed the problem reasonably quick. We weren’t informed what happened, but I blame solar flares.

On Sunday, our car’s GPS system acted up, eventually righting itself. Solar flares.

I wish everything in life were so easily diagnosed.

Do you have a good solar flare or full moon story to tell?

New Post for TheONC: Learn to Say Know

The new post I’ve written this week for TheONC the Blog is  Learn to Say “No.” In it, I share how I learned to take back control of my time and relationships, the first step towards carving out the personal time necessary for creative growth.

TheONC is an online community for cancer care teams with blogs and discussions covering a variety of oncology topics such as spirituality, treatment regimens, research, and more. Individuals involved in the care of cancer patients can register for a site login, and join the conversation.

Did You Get Your Relational Aggression Vaccination This Year?

Mean Girls (First Communion II) by jparadisi Published March 2011 by the American Journal of Nursing

Mean Girls (First Communion II) mixed media on paper by jparadisi. Published March 2011 by the American Journal of Nursing.

2012 marks the latest arrival of flu season in twenty-four years. So far, nurses remark how little flu they’ve encountered in the community, and it seems sick calls are fewer this year.

If the flu season is mild, the prodromal symptoms of Relational Aggression are virulent. Common symptoms include: nurses addressing coworkers with aggressive voices and or words, withholding information benefiting a coworker, speaking patronizingly, disregarding a coworker’s contribution to a conversation, or ignoring him or her altogether. These behaviors sprout in every workplace from time to time. When it happens at mine, I feel a bout of emotional flu coming on.

It is paradoxical. A nurse who’d go beyond the call of duty for quality patient care will turn and rip a carotid artery from the neck of a coworker with the ferocity of a wolverine, metaphorically speaking.

Reading recent posts of fellow nurse bloggers, it appears RA season is in full swing. Last week, Joni Watson at Nursetopia blogged about Emotional S & M Nurses and Sounding Boards; Kathleen Bartholomew blogged about RA at NurseTogether.

Last month I read When Nurses Hurt Nurses by Cheryl Dellasega, PhD. She defines Relational Aggression as

“…gossip, exclusion, teasing, tormenting, undermining, cyber slamming, and a host of other verbal and social behaviors designed to wound another person.”

Dellasega encourages nurses stop RA through identifying their own behavior perceived as aggressive by their coworkers. She unfortunately notes, however, most hardwired aggressors aren’t interested in reading a book like When Nurses Hurt Nurses (probably because their behavior works for them). She suggests coping with RA by

“learning to communicate effectively, adjusting your attitude, collaborating around a common goal, managing stress, and sometimes just forgiving…”

I’m practicing her advice. Some days it works. Other days, I want to lash out, “I am not ignoring your snarkiness because I’m stupid, or don’t recognize your aggressive behavior. I am nice to you because I have integrity. I am a professional,” but I don’t (remember, learn effective communication). Instead, on those days, I resort to forgiveness. Joni Watson provided a lovely affirmation by Mother Theresa titled Anyway. Wish me luck.

Instead of mandatory flu shots, perhaps nurses need vaccination against Relational Aggression.

Sometimes, work feels like the flu.

Have you experienced relational aggression at work, regardless if you are a nurse? How do you cope with it?